Just ordered a Tenga ultra size suction cup.
Hello orgasm city.

Someone asked me if I beat off to one of my followers.

(I didn’t)

But what the fuck business of yours is that? Jesus Christ.

I am off to go play Mass Effect, hello all my new followers~

Send me a text: 916 889 1791

Props to the good ass snipers in ME3 Multiplayer cause I suck at it.

That’s probably why I play a Vanguard and end up getting 70k points a game

Three things I am good at:

• Eating pussy
• Dancing
• Cooking

My dad told me that was all I needed to get ass.

And he wasn’t wrong.

My little sister said Lil’ Wayne was good at playing guitar.

Police still haven’t found her body.

When life hands you lemons just squeeze that shit back in life’s eyes cause goddamn lemons hurt

I hate when after I bust a nut, I can’t even enjoy it cause my parents normally burst in and I gotta pull my pants up super fast and remember that I’m back in reality

I don’t hit women or anything, you can cuss me out all you want.

But as soon as you strike me, I’m drop-kicking yo’ ass Shawn Michael’s style.

If you are a male and you don’t eat the pussy you are classified as a bitch in my book.